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When Five Fell

-The glasses, The sight-
The morning, is when he lingers. It’s before the world wants anything from him. And, that’s when he’s most beautiful. It’s true not many saw him like that. But I can’t say I was the only one. Even though we each had our own beginnings, mornings like this, were shared between us all.
He used to tell people that it was like the world was strung with a dull piece of charcoal. That was before me. Now that he sees things my way, everything makes a little more sense. This is me. If I’m in for anything, it’s to show him the world. Is that so bad?
-The phone, The hearing-
The quiet morning like the many before it, calm, comfortable. But comfort can be terribly blinding. The difference with this particular morning, is in a call. 
He smiles. For who? I can’t see anymore. He tells me he wants to be a raindrop. He doesn’t mind falling, as long as he’s not alone. And raindrops, are never alone. He always has a new story to tell me. Today, it’s about being a raindrop. I wish I could have been there, because stories aren’t always enough. And words, can only go so far. This is me. Sometimes I wonder if he’s still talking to me, or I’m just eavesdropping. It used to be everyday, sometimes for hours, sometimes for minutes. Healthy relationships are based on communication. But his words, however sweet and real, sound so distant. Now, they flow past me effortlessly, as if they were meant for someone else.
-The umbrella, The touch-
He must know what he does to me. His every touch, every time he holds my hand, every time he holds me close. This is me. If you hold my hand, I’ll be yours forever. A simple promise. That’s all I can offer. Is it enough? It may be too late for me, it may be too late.
-The scarf, The smell-
Anyone can look from a distance. A stranger can look from a distance. What’s so special about that? But to know his scent, means something else. It means, we’ve been close, closer than anyone else. I dare say I’m lucky. But when he doesn’t want me, or he’s away, and it’s just his scent, with me. I can only feel, forgotten. This is me, left behind. Am I the stranger now?
-The cup, The taste-
There are those nights, where its just the two of us. And he softly hides in his own thoughts, and only one thing seems to melt the cold silence. A kiss. This is me. Ask me what the perfect day tastes like? And I’ll say, His lips. He was my first kiss, it has to mean something, something sure and true. Because a taste of a pure kiss can’t be sure, it’s the dreadfully romantic idea. But there can be only one. The question is, am I, his only one? I’m afraid the truth will break me. But his kiss is convincing. I’m not his only one.
——————-
He said he wanted to be a raindrop, but today it finally broke us. He had found his own default, his own default form. Today, he was a raindrop.
——————-
I am the glasses, the phone, the umbrella, the scarf, the cup.

5 Ws


Who? What? When? Where? Why?
You are who I love. The one on the pedestal, the fantasy the make-believe things that are actually true.
You are what I love. The depth, the inside jokes, the best friend.
You are when I love. A new history is being started with you. We are the young lovers our older selves will someday reminisce about.
You are where I love. Because I’d go anywhere, just to be with you.
You are why I love. Because before you, I didn’t truly understand what I was looking for. 

(Ditulis di kantor, saat lagi ngantuk)

Gila gw ngantuk berat sekarang! Sebenernya skrg lagi ditengah – tengah jam kerja sih. Tapi sumpah ngantuk berat, seberat badan gw, jadi mendingan nulis post aja deh. Udah lama blog ini terbengkalai. Maaf yah blog, saya ga bermaksud meninggalkanmu. Belakangan ini sibuk banget sampe ga ada waktu buat nulis blog. Maklum, mahasiswi mau lulus gitu loh. Aheuyyy!! :p Ya kemaren ini sibuk bikin skripsi 8 bulan. Gara – gara bikin skripsi, gw hampir gila kayanya. Bukan gila karena bikin skripsinya, tapi gara – gara pembimbingnya. Bahhh, ini pembimbing bahlul abis. Dia kayanya Cuma memeras kita – kita mahasiswa yg dibimbing dia deh. Jadi thesis yang kita buat tuh sekalian ngebantuin project dia buat dapet gelar Ph.D ato di Indonesia biasanya dikenal gelar S3. Kita disuruh nyari data + analyze data. Setelah dia dapet data yg dia butuhin, dia kaya mau gamau bantuin apa – apa lagi. Bahlul abis. Alhasil kita bener – bener ngandelin diri sendiri buat nulis chapter 1 – 5, belajar tentang software buat ngitung result, dll. Udah mah ga bantuin apa – apa, complain nya banyak beud. Kurang ini lah, kurang itu lah. Beuuhhhh, kalo lu ga mau ada yang kurang – kurang, ya bantuin lah, dasar botak! Kebahlulan dia pokonya ga ada dua lah. Dan mukanya dia mirip PA IYONG (kalo lu tau siapa PA IYONG). Beuh itu mah sama persis popotongannya. Cm si bahlul ini lebih tinggi lah sedikit, plus lebih botak. Tapi seperti kata pepatah, badai pasti berlalu, demikian juga dengan skripsi dan si pembimbing bahlul itu. Akhirnya berlalu juga. Fiuhhhhh *lapkeringet*. Masa – masa paling tertekan banget tuh pas bikin skripsi.




Oh ya btw, sekarang gw lg internship (magang) di salah satu company di KL. Namanya GE (General Electric). Tenang, ini bukan toko lampu, ato toko alat – alat listrik. Biasanya kalo orang – orang yang ga belajar business, ga akan tau sama company ini. Ini tuh multinational company asal United States. Foundernya itu Thomas Alva Edison, si penemu bohlam itu loh. Company nya spread di ASIA, AMERIKA, EUROPE, dll. Jadi kerjaan gw disini, gw ditempatin di finance department. Gw bakalan kerja disini selama 4 bulan, sampe akhir Desember. Semua mata kuliah udah gw ambil, jadi tinggal selesain ini magang, terus gw resmi bukan jadi mahasiswi lagi. Woohoooo!! \(^.^)/. Tapi kadang sedih juga sih mikirinnya. Menurut gw, kelas itu lebih menyenangkan daripada kerja. Baru seminggu lebih gw kerja disini, gw udah kangen penen masuk kelas lagi. Lebih sedih lagi mikirin kalo nanti gw bakal ninggalin temen – temen disini. Yeah, some friends really treat me like family. Gw banyak ketemu temen – temen baru. Tapi kenapa ketemunya pas di akhir study gw? *sigh*. Tapi life must go on, kan. Treasure the time that we have now. Gw Cuma punya sisa 4 bulan disini. Rada sedih juga. Udah 3 taun hidup disini. Buat langkah kedepannya, udah ada plan sih. Semoga plan ini bener – bener the right, the best plan.



Sekarang ini nih, the point of time dimana harus mikirin kedepannya gw mau jadi apa, kedepannya gua mau ngapain. Kalo boleh milih sih, gw pengen jadi murid ato mahasiswi terus. Tapi semua orang itu harus berkembang kan. Harus melangkah terus kedepan. We don’t have choice, do we? We have to keep on moving. Regardless any circumstances, regardless anything that is bothering us, we still have to move on. And I guess, I don’t have choice neither. Stepping into a corporate world is not what I really want. Dengan pengalaman gw kerja sekarang, gw tau kalo gw ga bisa kerja dibawah orang lain. Gw tau kalo gw ga suka kerja yang monoton kaya sekarang (ditambah dengan fakta kalo skrg gw nulis blog karena bosen n ngantuk ga ada dua). Orang bilang, love what you do. But it’s pretty hard I guess. To love what you do, you have to do what you love. But some people don’t have chance to do what they really love. I hope I can do what I love, so I can love what I do. I hope..

J-NY

Lay lay lay lay lay lay panggil aku si jablay. Kalo blog ini bisa nyanyi, kayanya dia bakalan nyanyi jablay deh. Wong dia jarang dibelay sama saia >.< Maklum lah, gila semester ini hectic abis. Mau nulis juga udah males duluan. Okeh di post ini saia berjanji bakal nyelesain post" bersambung yang terbengkalai itu. Tadinya sih mau bikin lanjutan si Cambodia part 2, cuma itu mau aplot poto aja lamanya setengah abad. Yaudahlah, kuurungkan saja niatku. Haha..

Well, basically lumayan banyak kejadian" di semester ini. Mungkin gw focus aja kali ya sama 1 yang paling happening. Jadi ceritanya gini, di kampus gw tercinta ini tiap taun diadain semacam talent show gitu deh. Ceritanya sih mau ngikutin America ato British got talent. Namanya UCSI U Got talent. Tadinya sih cuek cuek aja, ngapain juga ikut"an beginian, males. Eh tapi kampretnya, housemate gw itu ngajak join, group deh ceritanya. Ya apa mau dikata, yaudah lah join aja, iseng". But I don't know how it happened, from the audition, 1st round, semifinal, dan akhirnya kita go through sampe finale. By God's grace banget. Jadi kita bikin semacem trio gitu, namanya J-ny yang singkatan dari nama kita ber3 (Joshua, Natalie, Yolanda). Dan beginilah penampakan kami:


                                                                  Keren ye? haha




                                                Ini 1st round: Payphone - maroon 5

                                                           
                                                    Ini pas finale, sama 1 of judges


                                                    Supporter kite kite nih! :p

Ya akhirnya sih kita ga menang. Tapi bener" pengalaman ga terlupakan. So, dari pengalaman ini kita bener" diajar buat give thanks. Buat talent yang Tuhan kasih, buat pimpinanNya, semuanya deh. Bener" amazed. Kita juga belajar kalo talent yang kita punya itu semuanya dari Tuhan, jadi kita harus use talent yang kita punya buat glorify His name. :p

Nih list" lagu yang kita nyanyiin dari audition sampe finale. Maap buat yang audition ga ada videonya. Hehe..

1. Audition: Price tag - Jessie J

2. 1st Round: Payphone - Maroon 5
    Buat videonya, bisa langsung cekidot di SINI

3. Semifinal: Perfect - Pink
    Cekidot di SINI

4. Finale: Grenade - Bruno Mars
    Cekidot di SINI

Maap yah kita" masih amatir sih. Haha.. Jadi kalo ada yang ngegeol geol dikit maklum lah ya. :p
So, don't be afraid of trying. You will never know if you never try. Use the talent that God has given to you. And use it to glorify His name. :)

Cambodia with love (Part 1)

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." - Matthew 28:19-20

I've been hearing this verse since I was young. This so called "Great Commission" was given by Jesus before He ascended to Heaven. I always wondered, when could I really go for mission? Would I have a chance to do so? 
Then here came the opportunity for me to go for mission. The story began from the beginning of the year 2012. GEPC, which is my church here in Malaysia, announced that they will have a mission trip to Cambodia in May. I just didn't bother about it because I was not that interested in it. Chinese new year came, and surprisingly I got, hmmmm.. I can say quite a lot of ang pao. I was thinking that with this money I could buy thing that I wanted since last year. Then my mind decided to buy that thing, which is Ipad 2. Everyday I did a collection of information about Ipad 2. But there was a night, I felt that God was speaking to me. He asked me to go to Cambodia for mission. Then I decided to go. That means I had to forgo my plan to buy the Ipad 2. 

So I went to talk to my Pastor that I'm going for this mission trip, then I registered. I spent all of my ang pao money to buy the flight ticket to Cambodia, which cost me RM 450 (around Rp 1.350.000) for return journey. And RM 400 (around Rp 1.200.000) for my meals, accommodation, transport, love gift to people there, etc. And it has not included the pocket money yet. After spending all that money, at first I felt quite sad. I have to forgo my Ipad 2 for the 5 days mission trip to Cambodia. I didn't know what we are going to do and experience in Cambodia, and I pray to God that through this mission trip, God will show something to me and the team.

                                             Say hello to Cambodia

So my team (Myself, Eld. Anba, Ben, and Marissa) went to Cambodia last week, from Thursday 17 May to Monday 21 May. We Had a GREAT experience there which explanation by words alone is not enough to show you all how great was our experience there. Now Cambodia has my heart. My heart is still there. I'm totally in love with Cambodia. How I love the people there. How I and my team is really blessed there. We come to bless people there, but we ourselves are blessed as well. And I totally don't regret of forgoing my Ipad 2 for this 5 days mission trip to Cambodia. 

This is the background and a quick glance of my mission trip to Cambodia. Will tell you the detail stories and show you the picts in my next post. :)


To be continued.... 

Mudik April 2012 (Part 1)

Jadi gini nih ceritanya bulan kemaren ntu gw dengan sukses nyelesein semester kedua terakhir gw. Cihuy!! Mencium bau bau sarjana nih. Wkwk.. Abis UAS yang melelahkan hati dan jiwa, akhirnya gw memilih buat mudik ke kampung halaman tercintah sepanjang masa tidak pernah berubah, Bandung. I hart yu bangets deh. Gw cuma punya jatah liburan 3 minggu. Mayan lah ya daripada manyun. Jadilah tgl 15 April tepatnya hari minggu gw dengan berseri seri landed di bandara Bandung yang superkecil, sekecil upil itu. Setelah 25 menitan, saia pun disambut sama jalan di taman holis yg kaya sampah sesampah sampahnya. Kesampahan jalan disitu dibuktiin dengan anjingnya temen gw, si agnes (maksudnya nama temen gw yg agnes, bukan anjingnya yg namanya agnes) yang dengan sukses mabok darat abis ngelewatin jalan situ. Mungkin dia harusnya dikasih antimo dulu sebelum menempuh jalan di taman holis, yang tepatnya mau ke arah rumah gw itu.

Anyway, although jalannya yg kaya sampah itu, tapi gw tetep cinta sama rumah gw. The best place where I could be. Bener dah apa kata orang orang bule sana kalo 'Home is where the heart is'. Ok jadi liburan gw pun dimulai. Hari senen, hari pertama liburan di Bandung, udah dibikin kesel sama si bedebah gatau diri yang bacotnya gede, yang maksa" ngajak maen gw + anak" gereja dengan maksa" dan akhirnya pundung sendiri gara" yg laen pada ga bisa maen. Faktor B kali yah. Faktor beungut sama bedebah. Ohsudahlah lupakan tentang si bedebah itu. Akhirnya hari itu gw pegi ke Hyper bareng ciwi ciwi. :D 
Kebanyakan hari hari gw sih diisi sama baca buku. Maklum, paket buku Supernova 1-3 gw baru dateng. Jadilah gw geek supernova yang ngabisin tuh 3 buku dalan 3 ato 4 hari. Nah jumatnya gw udah janjian sama sobat gw si beurit kerempeng bersuara sekseh yang ngaku ngaku ganteng dan keren. Phihhhh.. Padahal hidupnya abu abu n ga jelas. wkwkwk (piss yah sop). Jadi tujuan kite hari itu mau makan babi siagian nyang katanya enyak itu. Jadi kite menempuh perjalanan yang sangat dramatis dari desa holis sampe ke daerah gedung sate, gedung telkom, deket deket situlah. Sampe pantat rata. Masuk" disana, disambut sama anjing piaraan di kedai babi. Kasian juga, kayanya dia dipiara buat diipeuncit nantinya :(
Datanglah 2 piring babi panggang, 2 piring nasi, 2 mangkok kuah, 2 pisin sambel cengek, sama 2 pisin saos yang warnanya ga jelas. Ini dia penampakannya:

                                                                Babi Siagian

Tuh keliatan kan si saos yang warnanya ga jelas itu?? Selidik punya selidik, setelah dikasihtau sama si beurit sobat gw, ternyata si saos itu adalaaaahhhhh... jengjengggg.... Darah babi. >.< Jijey, jadinya gw cm nyobain setetes, dan gamau nyentuh tuh saos lagi. hiiiiiiyyyy.. Si babinya endange bambange. Maknyus. Lebih maknyus lagi soalnya ane ditraktir sama si beurit. wkwk. Makasi ya sop. Sering" aja. Sobat yang baik adalah sobat yang sering nraktir sobatnya. Semoga dia baca yaowooooohh. haha. Abis jadi babi setelah ngebabi, meluncurlah gw bersama sang tukang ojek ke toko buku togamas, mau nyari buku Partikel nya mba Dee, dan ngebeliin titipan novel dr temen di malay. Dan ini dia buku yang ditunggu tunggu. Tadaaaaaaa:

                                                                 Kece nih buku

Pulang dari sana isi dompet saia terkuras. Disana aja gw abis 230 rebuan buat beli buku buku. Hiks.. Ditambah lagi abis dari sana meluncur lagi ke palasari cari buku 1 lagi. Total 260 rebu dah gw beli buku. >.< 
Selesailah perburuan buku. Di palasari badan udah agak agak meriang ga jelas. merinding disko ga jelas. Yasudahlah mungkin waktunya buat pulang. Akhirnya kite pulang ke rimbaan masing masing. Gw di turunin si beurit di Rs. Imanuel. Mau tau kenapa saia diturunin disitu? 


JENG JENG JENG.....



BERSAMBUNG....................

Ketika

Ketika lidah sudah kehilangan kemampuannya untuk merangkai kata
Ketika bibir tak mampu lagi untuk tersenyum
Ketika bibir hanya mampu memalsukan senyum itu
Ketika pikiran dipenuhi hal hal yang seharusnya tidak dipikirkan
Ketika pikiran dipenuhi hal hal krusial yang terlalu banyak dipikirkan
Ketika langkah terasa terseok
Ketika titian itu terasa tak bertepi, tak berujung
Ketika kata kata terasa semu

Ketika semua ketika - ketika itu datang, rasanya ingin menghilang saja.